Sometimes in life
You just get to the point
Where you realize
That where you are is all wrong.
Like driving in the reverse on a one way
Even though everything around you
Clearly attempts to compels you to straighten yourself out by just turning around.
It should not have taken you years of going the wrong way
Against the grain of your mind
For you to realize that
You have given more of you to someone
Who could never pay you back
No money represents
The core of yourself.
That account that you thought you were building up
Has been negative for so long that your account was closed long ago
And your deposits were being placed in the wrong hands.
So in retrospect
You fight off depression and regret
As the two partner in hopes of having you jump off the edge with suicidal thoughts
Triggered by the fact that you are once again in the land of
Not again.
The place that you quickly realize
Comes with old pain, now combined with a surrogate pain of your now.
You fight for it not to when
As it would be a tragedy for this person
Who is deemed as terrific and great
To end up worst off than a homeless person left in the gutter left to die
While everyone walks past as if they don’t recognize the site or the stench.
You don’t blame anyone but yourself
Because the triggers you put in place were removed by you
Like a smoke alarm with no batteries
They were only present to make you comfortable that you were capable.
You were dealing with potential and motivation
Instead of actual.
This is not the end you tell yourself
As you search
The depths of your mind
Hoping to find an out
That makes you feel less stupid and dumb
For not using the common sense that you know were born with.
So those with a mustard seed of hope will turn to their faith and beliefs
A God greater than they could ever even understand
And simply say
Lord Help
Me.
-- Copywright 2011 Gina Dacus
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